My follow-up on the allergy-ridden sound guy is slow in coming, as I am still shaking my head over my unimpressive showing.
The stage was well set, giving him both the opening salvo and the chance to poke fun at me -- universal good omens. I came around a corner and he was on the other side, shushing people because a speech was underway in the nearby auditorium.
Him: I should have known it would be you making all that noise!
Me: [Adorable guilty-as-charged face.]
Pause to allow crowd to file into auditorium.
Me: [Whispering now, out of necessity, and, necessarily, leaning in closer to be heard] Did you try the Neti Pot yet? I'm telling you, it changed my life!
Him: [Whispering in kind] I promise, I'll try it, then I'll report back to you.
Gulp! At this point, friends, I admit, I am startled. He had been so standoffish before, I couldn't believe he was so readily creating some reason for future interactions. That's the only excuse I have for what came out of my mouth next...
Me: Yes, you definitely have to! And, also, you need to stop smoking! It makes your allergies so much worse.
Blimey! Stop smoking?? Immediately, I see the error of my ways. Without waiting for a response, I flash what I hope is my most winning smile, then scamper off to sit through the lecture and ponder such an amateurish slip. When consulted, my favorite workplace wingwoman comments, "Ooh, aggressive!"
Who cares that I would never actually date a smoker, and that this entire flirtation is moot. The point is simply to prolong it! And here, gentle reader, I have nipped it in the bud. Or, butt, as the case may be. Pity me.
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